It has been said that when we become the most comfortable in our lives, we also begin to experience pain. How is this? In my opinion, what happens is that our bodymind now perceives that this is a safe time and place in which to bring to our conscious minds, that which ‘needs to be healed.’

Basically, we cannot heal anything in our lives (physically, emotionally, mentally, or spiritually), when we are under stress and perceive that we are fighting for survival. It is in the ‘down’ times that healing, rest, and rejuvenation occur. Our immune systems, and the rest of our repair/regenerate systems, come back on-line, and we begin the process of healing. During this time, we are also afforded the opportunity to reflect on what we have learned, and how this can assist us in moving forward in our life. Often, this will ‘bring up’ old patterns, thoughts, emotions, etc. We wonder why this would be coming up now.

Each time we move through a crisis, event, learning situation, accessing new resources and strategies, our unconscious mind will bring to the conscious mind opportunities to use this access to new resources and strategies to heal these old patterns.

Remember, pain (in my opinion) is there to point out to us to STOP who/what we’ve been BE-ing/doing, pay better attention, and BE/do some-body/thing different. Therefore, this pain can be a good thing; it assists our mind in focusing on what needs to be healed. If you didn’t have pain from a broken leg, how would your bodymind know what it needed to heal and how would you know to pay attention and move differently to support this healing.

How we do anything, is how we do everything. Therefore, how is emotional or mental pain really any different from physical pains? They are simply cues for us to pay attention to what needs to be healed in our life.

So, I’ll end with a question; Where do you have pain (difficulty, challenges, stuckness, etc) in your life…?

Audio clip: Adobe Flash Player (version 9 or above) is required to play this audio clip. Download the latest version here. You also need to have JavaScript enabled in your browser.

As you may know, I subscribe to several blogs on the internet. I read this article (BenCoe; Fear Less) recently, and thought that it would make for a good discussion.

We have talked previously about the different seasons in NSA Care (Discover, Transform, Awaken, Integrate; for a more complete review, check our archived articles section on the website). In the season of Discover we are very fear-full about a great many things; fear of the past, the future, not trusting, not knowing who we are, fear of the rules, not being good enough, or there not being enough.

In the season of Transform, we begin to re-claim our power in our lives. We remove the veil so that we can see where and how we gave our power away, and then we become ready to resolve these issues. Through this process, our fears are still with us, however, as we re-claim our power, we also resolve to never do this to ourselves again. We promise ourselves that we will Transform these old patterns and rules of how life ‘should’ be, no matter what comes up.

Now, this is where it gets interesting. As soon as we commit ourselves to a new standard (never giving our power away again, etc), our “opponent” becomes very active and very loud. What does our “opponent” look like? Traffic jams, inconsiderate people, angry people, ‘jerks,’ difficult situations at work/home, financial stressors, physical injuries, etc. However, if we can just stay present with our own process, we begin to realize that all of these ‘opponents’ are simply a reflection of ourselves and that we must grow beyond our old minds/habits in order to create something new; “…sometimes you have to break a few eggs in order to make an omelette.”

What if the chaos or challenge held the answer to creating something new? Would you go deeper into it? Would you try to avoid it? I suppose it depends on how present, and honest, we are able to be with ourselves. In my own life, even with all of the powerful tools I am trained in, I still have these moments. Sometimes I am able to remain present and learn and grow, other times, I have to go back through it again with more awareness.

To me, it goes back to the opening title of this article; fearless or fear less? Fearless, by definition, is the absence of fear. In my experience, this is not necessarily a good thing. Fear can keep us alive in dangerous situations (a great short-term survival strategy, but a lousy long-term, thriving strategy). However, the more often that we show courage, acting in the face of that which we fear, the more that we will fear less.

What are you fearful of? Telling someone you care about them? Making a decision? Making a wrong decision? Public speaking? Death? Losing your job?

What if you were able to fear these things less? How would your life be different? Who would you be?

Do you have a plan of action (and do you actually act on it) to grow beyond the fears?

So, it has been a full couple of weeks recently.  The last two Saturdays, (plus one more tomorrow), have been filled with Clear Days; entraining people and assisting them in Creating Life Anew, connecting with, and expressing more of their authentic selves.

Also, my aunt died about 6 weeks ago, and we had a memorial/celebration of her life today.  Also, my grandmother (94yrs) died on Wednesday evening after experiencing a massive stroke about 10 days ago.

It got me to thinking, ‘what were there gifts?’  What did they bring to this life that they shared with others?  Also, did I miss any of their gifts, and if so, what were they?

How many times in your life have you missed someone”s gifts because you were so wrapped up in your own life?  I have heard it said many times that one of the greatest things we can do in life is to serve.  What does it mean to serve?  What if serving meant receiving someone else’s gifts?  If we are so busy doing our best to share our gifts, when do we stop for a moment and receive another’s gifts?

It really struck me today during the celebration of my aunt’s life.  She was so loved by so many people, from so many walks of life, and although each had different stories about her, they all had a central theme; the ability to give, and receive, her strengths, weaknesses, gifts, love, joy, etc.  There were moments that I sat and wondered who this woman was.  Then I remembered times in my life spent with her where all these qualities shone through…

How well do you really know the loved ones in your life?  When was the last time you told them you loved and appreciated them?

Celebrate life now.  Live each day as if it were your last, because one day it will be…

“A Master in the art of living draws no sharp distinction between his work and his play; his labour and his leisure; his mind and his body; his education and his recreation.  He hardly knows which is which.  He simply pursues his vision of excellence through whatever he is doing, and leaves others to determine whether he is working or playing.  To himself, he always appears to be doing both.”
–Francoise Rene Auguste Chateaubriand

So, what does Mastery mean to you?  As any golf-nut will tell you, we just recently celebrated yet another Masters golf
tournament, (congratulations to Phil Mickelson), that offered all of the drama of everyday life, all rolled into four days of  golf.  This tournament was started in 1934 as an invitational tournament for the best players of the day.  The course was  traditionally set up to provide a test of the players’ skills that no other tournament offered.  To this day, the course  requires creativity and imagination, as well as skill and some luck, to win.

What caught my attention about Phil Mickelson this year especially, was that he appeared to exemplify the sentiment of the  above quote.  To be honest, he has never been one of my favourite players, (except for his fabulous short game), but I can  truly appreciate that he appears to love to play golf, and pursue his vision of excellence.

Various golf media-types, and coaches, have advised Mickelson to adopt a more conservative approach to his game instead of  gambling on the big shot, in order to win more major tournaments (Masters, US Open, Open Championship/British Open, and Players’ Championship).  I was one of those, even though I often tend to favour the risky shot.  Another golfer, still loved worldwide, who played this way is Arnold Palmer.

For players at this level of Mastery, it is about creating, and being, in that perfect moment, where all the training, preparation and practice come together to produce that ‘perfect’ shot.  I think this is why Mickelson is such a fan favourite.  I’m pretty sure that we can all identify with this drive to master something in our lives.

What does it really take to become a Master of something?  Some would talk about the different stages of learning (unconscious  incompetence, conscious incompetence, conscious competence, and unconscious competence/Mastery), while others might talk about  passion, inner drive, etc.

For me, I think that the quote above sums it all up beautifully.  When we are so passionate about something, and give ourselves  to it so completely, there is no division between work and play.  They are the same thing.  There are no parts, only wholeness.  This is one of the reasons I love golf, especially as a metaphor for life.

Golf is such a ‘present-moment’ activity.  (I do play, and am passionate about, other sports as well (hockey, skiing, biking,  baseball), however I always come back to golf, especially for these metaphors.)  No one is trying to hit you, take the ball  away, throw the ball by you, etc.  The ball just sits there waiting for you to swing.  Our bodymind already knows how to make a  perfect swing.  It is our limiting beliefs about our ability, our negative emotions about the last shot we just hit, worry  about where the ball might land, etc.  Our ability to master ourselves therefore produces more ‘pure’ golf shots.

So, what does this have to do with life?  Glad you asked…

How do we become Masters in the art of living?  By BE-ing in each moment, savouring it, acknowledging whatever is happening,  and accepting that this is where we are in the moment, yet being open to creating more in our life.  When we become more aware  of our ‘stuff’ and can acknowledge it, while accepting that we in fact created it, we are able to keep our minds open to  different options and possibilities.  When we are able to see that we have choices, we feel more at ease.

Have you ever heard someone, or yourself, say; “I’m so stressed that I don’t know what to do!  I can’t even see a way out!”   This is when we feel stress and confusion in our lives.  The mind that created the situation is not the one that will
ultimately come up with the solution.  To remain open to possibility creates the space required for inspiration and creativity  to direct us to something new.

Have you ever had the experience where you simply surrendered to not knowing what to do, and let it simmer in the back of your  mind, and then, all of a sudden, you knew exactly what to do, and who to talk to?!  It’s kind of like when you’re trying to  remember someone’s name and you can’t; you let it go, and then sometime shortly thereafter, you suddenly exclaim Steve! (or  whatever their name was), and people around you ask; “Who’s Steve?”

So, to come back to the main highway from that detour, the point I’m doing my best to make is that we can all be Masters in the  Art of Living.  All it takes is some Awareness, Acknowledgement, and Acceptance (A3).  Leave it to others to decide if we are  working or playing, to us, we are always doing both!

For awhile now, I have felt like there was something to be learned around l’affaire Tigre (the Tiger Woods saga), but I wasn”t sure what it would be, then today it came to me; the more that we try to control everything around us (ie. “the rules” of how life should be, must be, etc), the bigger it eventually blows up.

If you watch TV, or are a golf nut (I’m definitely in the latter group), it has been pretty difficult to ignore this story. However you choose to judge him, or not, what can this story show/teach us?

To me, one of the biggest lessons is the one I mentioned above; the more we try to control every little aspect of our lives, the bigger the chaos when we finally lose that control (or the perception of it). You may remember from your high-school physics class, that energy cannot be destroyed or created, it simply changes form (transformation).  So, when we try to contain greater and greater amounts of energy, without enlarging or strengthening our container, the container is eventually going to burst, and the shrapnel explodes everywhere, into every aspect of our lives, causing chaos.

Rightly, or wrongly, (it’s not for me to judge), Tiger (or his management) has apparently felt the need to micro-manage every aspect of his image and his life.  I feel like throughout his ascent to the zenith of the golf world, Tiger has lost or misplaced his authentic Self.  I don’t see as much of the pure joy that he used to express while playing golf, and I miss it.  Besides the amazing distances he hits the ball, and the amazing shots he creates, I miss this aspect of his game the most.

What does this have to do with anything?  Well, where in your life are you trying to control every little aspect?  Where are you giving up your passion in favour of the calculated move or idea?

In my own life, I have found that the more I let my passion for what I love loose, the more creativity, joy, happiness, and fun I have.  Even something as simple as writing this blog.  When I ‘try’ to force, control, or manipulate an idea, I get stuck.  However, when I write about something which I love, and I currently love Transformation, it is easy, effortless, and inspiring to me.  If you find something in my writing that is inspiring or nudges the passion in you, then I invite you to follow that and see where it leads.

When I follow threads of inspiration, I often don’t know exactly where it will lead.  However, I always learn something new, either about someone else, or myself.  (And really, isn’t that the same thing?)

So, I invite you to get in touch with your own passion.  Let it ignite the fire of your imagination and spark your consciousness…you never know what will evolve…

I just finished reading an article in the Globe and Mail (online) about Frederic Bilodeau, the elder brother of Alexandre Bilodeau (winner of Canada’s first Olympic Gold on home soil!), and I was, once again, struck by the depth of human spirit.

To me, the obvious love, respect, and admiration that all of the family members appear to have for each other is truly remarkable.  How many of us really stop and acknowledge the gifts that our family has to offer?  How much more often do we hear people complain and run-down their families?  What would life be like if we were able to take a step back for a moment and truly embrace these gifts?

Last night, I was having a conversation over dinner with two friends, and we were discussing the process of Trancendence (moving beyond) versus Translation (moving laterally).  Basically, what it came down to, was this:  how many people do you know that claim to be searching for enlightenment, peace, love, joy, and awakening that still continue to do the same old, “less than enlighened” behaviours?  Do you do this?  I know that I sometimes am still challenged with this, especially with my family.

Does this mean that I am only Translating, or does the Transcendence come with increased Awareness, Acknowledgement, and Acceptance, followed by new actions?  After all, Transformation of our lives is an active process; doing different actions, although uncomfortable, creates different results.  Through this process, we loosen our “model of the world,” our stories of our life, and this allows the space for new perceptions, behaviours, and structures in our life.

So, what does this have to do with the Bilodeaus and receiving the gifts of others?

In the above-mentioned interview, there was a definite thread running through the life of this family, that showed the ability to recognize, appreciate, and receive the gifts of each other.  I believe that when we are able to do the same, to the best of our abilities, with the family, friends, community in our life, that not only does our life become enriched, but they too feel heard, appreciated, loved, and connected as a result.

I think that this is one of our basic human needs; to be able contribute something worthy to our world.

What do you think?

I’m just sittting here watching the Men’s Downhill at the Vancouver 2010 Winter Olympics.  As an alpine ski coach myself, this is one of my favourite events to watch.  Many people have asked me if these athletes are ever afraid; I mean they hit speeds in excess of 140 km/hr (nearly 100 mph) on two little boards stuck to their feet (here in Ontario, we have a street racing law that impounds your car if caught exceeding 150 km/hr)!

I can’t speak for them, but I have to believe that there are always some fears lurking in the back of their minds.  It is how well they are able to handle these fears, limiting beliefs, and negative emotions, that determines how well they perform on a given day.  And really, isn’t this just like life?  How well do we manage these same things in our life?  What keeps us from BE-ing the best that we can be?  How do you respond to the stressful events of your life?

Our past experiences are only indicators of where we have been and choices we have made in the past; the past is not an indicator of our future! We can make different choices in the NOW to create a different experience  for our future.  Our past only determines our future if we continue to focus on it!  How can I BE different today?  What can I DO different today?  If we continue to BE and DO the same things we have always done, we will continue to BE, DO, and HAVE the same things we always have.  However, if we simply take one, small, baby step that is different today, we begin to change the arc of our life.

Each step ripples outward in expansion.  It may only look like a small step, but as BJ Palmer once said; “[you never know how far reaching something you think, say or do, will affect the lives of millions tomorrow.]”

So, my question to you is:  Who will you BE differently today?  What will you DO differently today?

Hello everyone, welcome to the newly re-designed blog of Phoenix Network Care!

We will be posting thoughts, announcements, and other helpful tips and ideas on a regular basis, so check back often!

You can also subscribe to our RSS feed to get new posts automatically.

Thanks for stopping by.

Talk to you soon.